When My World Broke Into Pieces

Two and a half years ago my world broke into pieces. I had been trying to hold everything together for so long, trying to cover up the holes, convincing everyone, even myself, that everything was fine. But it wasn’t and I was left crying on my knees with the broken pieces scattered around me.

My dreams for this life, my hope for the future, slipping through my fingers as I tried to hold onto whatever threads I could. Those were some of the hardest days of my life, the realisation that something I thought and hoped would last forever, would never be the same and was possibly lost.

I would cry in the car when no one could see and plaster a smile on my face as I walked into work or through the front door like everything was great. I poured my heart out to God asking Him to fix it, to put the broken pieces back together again and all He whispered was,

‘Soon.’

And so, I waited. And as I waited, I prayed.

In my darkest moments, God never left me. Even though His answer wasn’t the one I wanted, He was always next to me, guiding me, loving me and slowly picking up the broken pieces.

Over these past two and half years I have cried more times than I can count, mourning the loss of the life I once had, grieving the plans that would never come to fruition and kicking myself for not being where I thought I should be at this moment in my life. But these tears of sorrow have turned into tears of joy, and I find that now when I cry it is because I cannot believe how far God has brought me. When I compare my life to this time last year or this time two years ago, I never would’ve thought I would be here. God has been reshaping me, guiding me and moulding me into the person I am today. I am still waiting and praying but seeing how my faithful God is bringing me through.

If you are going through a tough time and it feels like you might not even make it through the night, remember, God is faithful, He has never left you and He is not about to leave you now. This dark valley is not the end, you will get through and when you look back on this moment in your life, one, two or three years from now, I pray you will be crying tears of joy when you see how far you’ve come.

If you need encouragement today, take a moment to listen to “Faithfully” by TobyMac, written after the loss of his son. It’s a reminder that no matter how dark it feels, God will bring you through.